I had class tonight. I'm still nervous enough in my new class environment that I don't feel comfortable around my new classmates-I don't know what to say or how to say it, yet.
For example, if I say that I've taken both Micro and Macro Econ before, does it sound like I'm boasting? If I mention that I've gotten through MGT 650 (the gate through which all College of Management students must pass) does *that* sound like I'm boasting? (I hope not-I'm rather proud of myself for surviving that experience. And having done so, even a double time summer session looks like a doable amount of work.)
So because I'm nervous about how to interact with people, and because I have an extra ten minutes before class I sit for a few minutes in the courtyard outside of McCormack building. I remark to myself that this courtyard is a good deal more hospitable than it was when I first encountered it in February. I remind myself that that I belong here while I watch important looking people rush around in preparation for tomorrow's commencement. I reinforce my psyche with some nice loud music.
I don't tell myself to stop worrying about how I'm interacting with people-that would be pointless. I merely point out to myself, that I will, at some point get over this nervousness. I've done it before. I may not get over it tonight, but it will go away.
This is where the loud music helps. It feels like home and, as such, allows me to calm down enough to the point where I can think these things.
And then I go into the building, climb three flights of stairs and deal with it.
Apologies for spelling errors- I typed this up on my phone on the commuter whale.