Last night I left left work a few minutes early so that I could walk to school instead of taking the shuttle bus. This was a new development for me. It's true that places I'd rather be than work are mostly limited to jail, the emergency room and a dentist's office. But the idea that being at school-at UMB-was an okay place to be, a place I was more comfortable being to think things out (since my existence since about September 7th, when school started has mostly consisted of crisis, crisis and more crisis whether it be school related or work related) is a step in the right direction. Sometime in the end of Spring term, I started to feel like UMB was a place I went for unpleasant things to happen to me. Apparently I've gotten over that.
This doesn't mean I'm okay with my course-load this term. If you ask me how it's going any time in the next few months my response is likely to be "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" but I'm not blaming UMB for that. I just mean that I feel like UMB is an okay place for me to be. I no longer feel afraid of being there. I don't feel like I'm a poseur who has no business being there. I don't feel formless dread. It's true I don't have many friends there, but the place itself is becoming friendly to me. That's a good thing.
Especially since I got back an Accounting Exam last night. I got a B. An 87. This is the lowest grade I've gotten so far. I am not particularly bothered by this. I briefly wondered whether or not this should bother me since all of my teammates, none of which I think are smarter than me, are all about maintaining their strait A averages. I'm assuming this means that all these guys got A's in Accounting. Well I probably won't get an A in Accounting. But that doesn't surprise me or concern me overly. I'm not a quant-I'm a verbal. I can understand recording revenue as earned and expenses as incurred, but if you ask me to actually compute some of this I'm lost. So while I'm a little disappointed about the B since I studied all weekend for this exam I'm not crushed-I could have blown it and I didn't. I can do better and, more importantly, I have more confidence in the program. Any university that gives me an easy A in Accounting is suspect. Again, it's not that I'm dumb it's just that my talent is not with numbers.
So yeah, we are normalizing our AAAAAAA! and it's working out well, sorta.