Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Jibblies

I had hoped a month or so ago that the anxiety I was feeling about taking two courses at the same time would dissipate once I actually started doing the coursework. That has not happened. One of my courses has lots of group deliverables and very little weekly homework. The other one has no group work and a heavy weekly homework assignment. My courses are on Tuesday and Wednesday nights and my Tuesday night course tends to run over which means that I miss the 9:30 train and have to take the 10:40 train (arriving at home at about 11:40.) This means that all my homework has to be done by Tuesday morning. I had an exam in my Wednesday course last week. I took Friday afternoon and Wednesday off to study for it (and studied all weekend.) Ironically, the more difficult course in my mind is the one with the lower course number (610 as opposed to 630) but it's Accounting and the other course is IT Project Management. I don't mean to boast or anything, but I've done IT project management (as have several of my teammates) but I've never done much with accounting. Also, it involves math-not hard math, but doing calculations-even with a calculator is just not something I can do after 8 PM.

I find myself with No Free Time. Worse than that though is the way my teeth haven't unclenched for the past 7 days and the feeling I had this morning (which is becoming familiar to me) of it being Sunday and me having a butt-load of homework to do and having to go into work tomorrow. Never mind all the other things that need doing-the mold in my bathroom or the dishes in my sink or the laundry or the cooking and grocery shopping (or the fact that I haven't talked to my parents in almost 3 weeks.) There's no time for any of these things because my time is spent on work-related stuff or school related stuff. I'm capable of working hard and I'm capable of working a lot but if I don't see my friends I will go nuts and if I don't go grocery shopping I will starve.

The combination of all these things makes me start panicking on Sunday-no matter how much homework I do it's still not all done by Tuesday. I wake up on Monday with my teeth clenched and my stomach tied in a knot. Tuesday and Wednesday I just roll with the punches-there's not much I can do but accept what happens. Thursday I am a zombie and by Friday I'm begging for mercy. I will do what I can-taking time off to catch up on homework-but things are interesting at work so if I take time off I pay for it when I get back.

Damn, this term is hard.

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